Look the Other Way

or rather, be known

My husband introduced me to the band Beartooth, and if you haven’t heard them yet, go take a listen. They’re awesome. If you need a catchy tune for a workout or a good semi-screamo song for the car that’s reminiscent of high school, they’re your people.

One of their more melancholy songs has stuck with me. It’s called Look the Other Way, and it’s about the vulnerability of putting your life back together in front of someone else.

I was so sad the first time I heard it. I definitely identify with the pain of feeling so seen by someone else when at your worst. It’s an uncomfortable, crawling-in-your-skin feeling to have the worst parts of you exposed for someone you love to see. But I’ve seen, over time, how this type of growth and vulnerability can bond a relationship.

I took the words of the song and tried to extract that truth—deep down, I think we all want to be fully seen and loved, even in our darkest moments.

***

Look the Other Way—Bearfoot

Barely afloat and we're taking on water
Still chasing the high that I felt the whole summer
Being buried alive with a smile on my face
A drink in my hand and a day to erase

I'm picking up the pieces, please just look the other way
I'm picking up the pieces, please just look the other way

I go off the rails every chance that I'm given
Is it worth my life if it means I might fit in?
I look at the wounds that I choose to inflict
While I hold my tongue and I tighten my grip

I'm picking up the pieces, please just look the other way
I'm picking up the pieces, please just look the other way

I'm not falling asleep, wish my heart would beat slower
Thinking back on my year, wanna start it all over
I wake you up and I tell you I'm losing control
I'm barely surviving, but I need you to know

I'm picking up the pieces, please just look the other way
I'm picking up the pieces, please just look the other way

'Cause baby, I'm afraid I'm slowly pushing you away
By showing you the deepest, darkest, weakest part of me
You said you'll always be right here to keep me company

When I don't even love myself, you love me anyway
When I don't even love myself, you love me anyway

***

We’re chasing being alive.
Please look-I’m given life, wounds.
While I tighten, just look. 
My heartbeat on you.
I know the way, look!
Deepest love, anyway.

Photo by Kimon Maritz on Unsplash

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This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Redacted."