My husband, boys and I recently spent a couple of days with my husband’s grandparents, the most warm and loving people you’ll ever meet. As we were unpacking in our room, I noticed a beautiful yellow quilt, full of gorgeous fabrics, innumerable stitches and, I’m assuming, beaucoup love and care in the making of it. With Mother’s Day just the weekend before, I have been reflecting on all the Mothers I celebrate and honor each year. I am not an island to myself. It takes a village. Motherhood is better together. We stand on the shoulders of those who've gone before us. These mantras we all know and love, and yet we still live in a culture so obsessed with individuality and branding. I can't help but think that the best Mother I could become would be a hodgepodge of all the amazing ones who have come before me, walked with me, mothered me (and my children). Less of me figuring out my personal mom brand, and more gleaning of wisdom from each of them, stitched into my journey, bringing along all the beauty and creativity of each of their lives into the tapestry of my own motherhood journey. *** My mind first goes to all the Mothers I am parenting with right now–fellow moms of young kids, some who have been pregnant with me and who have shared sleep training ideas, potty training tips, frequent meal recipes, and the general day-to-day life hacks with little children. They’ve prayed for me after a desperate text is sent out sharing what a hard day it’s been. They have dropped off meals and cleaning supplies when the children are puking. We've met at the park for the umpteenth time to try and get a fraction of a conversation in while the kids play. Sidewalks are paved with our footsteps as we've walked for dozens of miles, me pouring out all my mothering questions, a baby sleeping (or not) in the stroller ahead of us. To Meghan, I hope I have your perspective, that parenting is a long game and we need to give our children time to figure it out. To Amy, your adventurous spirit inspires me. To Leah, your faith and prayers have sustained me. To Holly, your good ideas and daily conversation about what we've deemed "pure nothingness" is a breath of fresh air. To Katie, your trust in the Lord combined with your endless funny stories about raising boys fill my soul. To Avery, your perseverance pushes me to do better. To my fellow Exhale mamas, your writing breathes life into my own with every word you share. The tribe of Mothers who have gone before me as Aunties, Grandmothers and more is astounding. These women show me daily what it looks like to parent as your kids age, how to let go and trust, continuing to pour in with love and care. I want to have the thoughtfulness and intention of my Auntie Wendy, who sends beautiful books and gifts to my boys each year with curated photos taped lovingly inside the pages and notes inscribed in perfect handwriting. I seek to show the warmth of my Auntie Kathy, who lights up a room with her laugh and kindness. I admire my Auntie Leslie, who has faced so much loss with endless grace and hope. To Tutu, my mom’s mom, I hope I bring your sense of fun and zest for life to my family, as well as your famous shortbread recipe. To my Gramma, your convictions and inner strength permeated your entire life of 97 years, and your chicken divan recipe is my favorite meal to make a new mama. To Doris, my Grandma-in-law, the warmth of your home is unmatched, and your consistent and steady love is a bedrock in our whole family. To Hilary, my Sis-in-law, the commitment to your boys is astounding. To Patty, my dear Mother-in-law, I hope and pray to befriend and love my daughters-in-law someday with the genuineness you have shown me all these years. The three women closest to me are my two sisters, and my own Mama. These three are written into every corner of my motherhood tapestry. Candice, my oldest sis, the way you love my boys unconditionally as Auntie has been shaping them since birth. Amy, your kindness and humor with your girls (and my two boys!) has saved my sanity on countless occasions. And to my Mama, well, you are The. Very. Best. You exude grace, patience, wisdom, and peace. If I can bring any threads of your being into my boys’ lives, I will be thrilled. *** Who am I becoming? Instead of forging my own path, I'd like to keep walking my steps in the well-worn, wise and thoughtful paths of so many who have come before me. The Bible talks about a cloud of witnesses surrounding us in faith, and these Mothers are my cloud of witnesses on the parenting journey. I hope to become more like each of these amazing women, threading their beauty throughout my own journey, stitching gifts from each of them into every season. When I think about who I am and where I've come, I cannot separate that from the influence and love of each of them. And I am forever grateful. I salute you, fellow Mothers. Let's keep weaving these stories together. ***
This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Become."
I agree with everyone else who has commented before me… I love how you weave the idea of motherhood as a patchwork of the various connections that have made an influence on how you mother. I once read a quote that was along the lines of how we pick up habits, sayings, etc. from different people throughout our lives. Then if we really look at why we do/know/say something, we see the people that we have loved as a part of ourselves now. It’s beautiful that you put this to words and even named the mothers who have impacted you, and ultimately, your children as you mother them with pieces of their wisdom and practices.
"these Mothers are my cloud of witnesses on the parenting journey" - yes and amen!! May we bear witness for each other! Loved this, Wendy!