Learning to Wait

and trying to do it well

An older man approaches me with a playful gait and his head dips slightly, reading my tote bag as it hangs by my side. “Motherhood is Holy Work,” it says in black letters. He smiles a soft, knowing smile and looks at me under his old baseball hat, covering his grayed hair.

“You know what they say about mothers? How they’re travel agents?”

“Oooh, I don’t think I’ve heard that one.”

“Well, they specialize in giving out…(wait for it)... guilt trips….” A smile cracks on his face.

I burst into laughter next to him. “I’m trying not to but I’m sure my kids would say differently,” I say with a subtle smile.

He gives me a wink, and proceeds to regale me with several jokes and puns, all while we wait to order at Panera.

When it’s time for us to part ways, I thank him for sharing the jokes with me and give him a smile.

“Anytime, dear!”

***

I spend a fair amount of time waiting (don’t we all). Waiting for my kids to get out of school. Waiting for the laundry to finish so I can fold it and put it away. Waiting for the water to boil for my pourover coffee in the morning. Waiting to complete my to-do’s and feel accomplished for the day. Waiting on hold for a patient or doctor’s office to answer as I coordinate care for a patient as a nurse navigator.

But truth be told, a lot almost all of that waiting is done impatiently. Scrolling my to-do list to ensure I’m ready to check off the next task. Looking at photos of my family while I sit (albeit, not a bad way to wait, but still filling my brain/eyes instead of just being). Absentmindedly running through the schedule for the next few days trying to plug in when I’ll get certain things done.

Lately, I’ve been trying (definite emphasis on the word trying) to use my moments of waiting to simply sit. Be still. Look around me. Eyes up, off my phone, at the people milling about around me.

Here are a few of the beautiful moments I’ve witnessed in just the last few weeks of this practice.

While waiting to drive around Target to get to the pickup area, I stopped and observed an elderly couple walking arm in arm to their car. The husband was very tall (like Charlie), his back now bent after years of holding him up straight, I’d imagine. The wife was very short (just like me), and she held his elbow tightly, both for her stability and his. I let this image sink in. I took a moment to pray for a long life together with Charlie. To still be going to Target together in 50 years, holding each other tightly as we walk.

I waited for a bit in the Seattle airport for my college roommates. We met up to attend the celebration of life for our dear roomie, Sarah, who went home to Heaven this summer. While reading a book in a chair, I heard a quiet excited gasp from the middle-aged woman next to me. I looked up softly to see a young couple approaching the woman and her husband, holding balloons and a phone filming the reunion.

“Mi amor!” the woman cried out, and jumped up to hug her son. Her husband stood happily, shuffling his feet and smiling as he embraced his (I’m guessing) daughter-in-law. They all laughed and smiled and hugged. It was such a simple moment, and a sweet one to witness. I was picturing the end of the movie Love Actually, where scenes from airport reunions are moving across the screen as Hugh Grant states, “Love really is all around.”

While waiting to board that same flight, the woman next to me asked if I lived in Seattle and knew the area. We struck up a conversation about my favorite spots there, and I found out she’s also a nurse and was traveling for a conference. We chatted for several minutes until we got to our seats—about life, nursing, marriage and more. I’m thankful my eyes had been up and not glued to my phone so she knew she could ask me a question.

***

I am no master of waiting well. What I know is that, in big seasons of waiting in my life, I have heard God’s voice more than in the happy and carefree times.

When Charlie and I called off our wedding and had to wait and work out our issues, my heart felt broken. Still, the lessons I learned (and that we learned together) have shaped our lives.

While waiting for my Dad’s dementia diagnosis and in the years of his disease (10, to be exact), I learned more about suffering and the heart of God than ever before.

While waiting at the hospital bedside when my boys have been sick, I have prayed very honestly and seen a side of God as a Father that I wouldn’t have known otherwise.

And in these sweet, small moments, I see that waiting brings a gift with it. Maybe just a glimpse of joy or beauty I would’ve otherwise missed. Maybe a reminder that life isn’t all about me. Maybe a chance to smile at a stranger.

***

“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of God in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

Photo by Kai Pilger on Unsplash

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This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series “Wait.”